Can borrowing money from a friend ruin a friendship?

The answer is yes. Money is always a tricky subject in friendships, because everyone has a different perspective on how it should be handled. Each person has different responsibilities and priorities, so it’s hard to understand what other people go through with their personal finances. That said, when money runs scarce, it is only logical to prioritise basic expenses, like food and housing, over entertainment and fun. We’ve all been there: money runs short, and you’re trying to save up for a rainy day or future projects. The solution is quite clear. You choose homemade meals over delivery, basic expenses over optional ones, and you must always make sure your pets are well fed, as they are a great responsibility. 

In this story, Mark clearly thinks differently. When he faces a moment of money shortage, he drops out of school and complains about his situation. So much so that when his friend tries to help him by encouraging him to save money,  she realises he keeps buying expensive delivery food and even inviting other coworkers for lunch. As friends, all we can do is give advice and our opinion, while respecting other people’s choices. The real issue starts when those choices affect us too. 

After a few months, Mark’s situation got a little more complicated when he decided to get a cat. Already, this seems like a risky decision given his economic situation. Predictably, he ended up asking his friend for money, because he didn’t have enough to feed his cat. She, feeling sorry for the cat, lent him some.

This can make or break a friendship, no doubt. Sadly, it did more of the latter, when he claimed he had no money to pay her back. Eventually, he did after being asked twice, and payment was followed by conflict between them. 

Because of what had happened the first time, when he asked for money again, she said no. We want to see our friends thrive and help them as much as possible, so of course she felt bad for not lending him money, as he had recently lost his job and was struggling to find a new one. However, his spending habits had not changed one bit. When it comes to stories like this, the better choice is not to bring money into the conversation. Yes, some friendships can handle it, especially when both parties are responsible and accountable. But in this case, if these two want to stay friends, they must agree not to borrow or ask each other for money, as it is clear they have a very different concept of it. 

Would you lend money to your friends, or ask to borrow some from them?