If you only want to show up for the cake and presents at a birthday party, the least you can do is check when those things are happening. 

A birthday invitation gives you a time for a reason. Arriving near the end and complaining that people celebrated without you is quite a way to make an entrance. And quite a way to be so entitled. At least bring an apology along with the gift. 

A mom on Reddit posted under the user TypicalAwareness5522 that she planned a fishing-themed tenth birthday party for her son, with a clear schedule: 1 to 4 p-m- The kid’s one request was to wait for his best friend before cake and presents. The friend had a baseball game and was expected between 3 and 3:15, so the plan was straightforward. 

Grandma knew about the party weeks in advance, though she admitted the day before that she had forgotten the date. She also wanted to attend a barbecue hosted by her son, even though he actually encouraged her to skip his gathering and go to her grandson’s birthday party. She decided to fit in both. 

Naturally, she arrived late. The mom explains that grandma has a pattern of arriving late, leaving early, and wanting credit as an “amazing grandma” despite seeing the children only on birthdays and holidays. So this is not new.

Choosing two events means accepting that you might miss something at one of them. And if you don’t want to lose anything, you would have chosen one of them. I don’t think a birthday boy and his guests should have to wait while an adult gets around to leaving their house. Because that’s what this grandma was doing. She left the barbecue and headed home, and then finally went to her grandson’s birthday. She had taken her time. Making somebody else responsible for her choices is where my sympathy runs out.