Is it better to warn our friends when they’re walking into a toxic place, or allow them to learn on their own?

Put yourself in this situation: a friend of yours got a spot at a work event she has been looking forward to forever. Not only is she excited about the opportunity, but she also truly believes the gathering will allow her to boost her career. For months, she has prepared and worked hard to make sure this opportunity is as advantageous as possible. You love and cherish your friend, and you want to see her thrive. 

However, things are not as simple as they first seem. As it happens, you have worked with the company in charge of organizing the event before, and you’ve had a horrible experience, to say the least. You’re afraid to burst her bubble, but they were unjust to you and underpaid you when you participated in that exact event. You’ve hesitated to tell her because it will disappoint her, and who knows! Maybe conditions and management have changed?

It doesn’t seem like it, though. As the event approaches, your socials blow up with stories of different ex-employees who had similar experiences. Like you, they are unsatisfied with the way they were treated. They all agree the company in question is not a great place to work. Now, you struggle. What do you do? Do you reach out to your friend and warn her about the situation? Or do you let her have an experience of her own without tainting her perspective beforehand? 

That is the dilemma faced by the person who wrote this story. Except, they chose to warn their friend about the work conditions awaiting her and, because of it, got accused of being a gossip and a negative person. The situation turned into a conflict when the friend tried to defend the company, only to be proven wrong after the event. As predicted, she had a terrible time and got way less than what she believed at first, which led to a bittersweet ‘I told you so’ that left a stain on this friendship. But here’s the thing: your friends might dislike you for it and disagree when they hear things they don’t really want to hear. However, true friends are those who tell you the truth even when it’s unpleasant, and don’t hide things from you just because it’s easier. Know that if there is someone in your life who is willing to take the heat to save you from a bad experience, you are lucky indeed. That said, before you go around giving your friends harsh truths, make sure you’ve done the research and that you’re basing your opinions on facts. Don’t call fire if there is no fire. And if there actually is one, yes, encourage your friend to leave the burning house. 

What would you do in this situation? Would you warn your friend or would you wait?